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Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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Sunday, February 25

Gapers Block

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Andrew / January 25, 2009 11:53 PM

Original works are encouraged.

David / January 26, 2009 9:04 AM

At home I am a nice guy: but I don't want the world to know. Humble people, I've found, don't get very far.

Muhammad Ali

Dave / January 26, 2009 9:26 AM

A Haiku for Blago...

They're out to get me
I'll take your slings and arrows
Just don't touch the hair

Gov. Blago Shakespeare / January 26, 2009 9:46 AM

So far, I have 14 original works. Well, some are originalish, "tributes" to the works of others. You can read them here:

I'll leave you with the final stanzas of Blago at the Podium:

And so, the Land of Lincoln got two Senators at last
And our Trail Blazer’s got another line to mark the past
A man with so much baggage, will he ever be effective?
To Blago, he’s already served his only real objective

Yes, somewhere in our fabled land, the people are contented
Their governments are working, more or less they’re represented
And somewhere civic pride is shining like an ivory tower
But there is no joy in Illinois, our Blago’s still in power.

eee / January 26, 2009 11:25 AM

A limerick for G-Rod.

Blago, in time of distress,
Decided to go to the press.
He chatted with Sawyer
Instead of a lawyer.
Where his brain went is anyone's guess.

Steven D / January 26, 2009 1:05 PM

My name is Blago
hustle for all i can get
how you like me now

Allan / January 26, 2009 1:42 PM

Sleeze bag daddy
feel sorry for the kids
money grubbing momma
heard 'bout what she did
the IL first family
family first? what's your bid
stick that money in my pocket
to get your checkers on the grid.
What I ain't did nothing wrong!
that's what you hired me for
to stick that money in my pocket
to stick that money in my pocket.
Your moneys in my pocket
using it to pad my crotch rocket
but I'll fight it till the end
burning family neighbors friends
Who crazy? Me! Shit. Wheres my brush.
Gandhi ain't got nothing on me.

W. Carlo$ William$ / January 26, 2009 3:29 PM


I have taken
the tax dollars
that were
in your coffers

and which
you were probably
for starving children or some shit

Forgive me
I am greedy
so corrupt
and dirty

Muffy / January 26, 2009 4:45 PM

There once was an Illinois Gov

Who kept begging for everyone’s love

He had such thick hair

It blocked out the air

Suffocating his brain from above.

Dan / January 26, 2009 4:51 PM

I could hear him reading Robert Frost's "Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening". "And miles to go before I sleep..."

R / January 26, 2009 4:54 PM

Hard times call for limericks.

I tried to sell the seat for bucks beaucoup
And everyone's said I've gone totally cuckoo.
If things had gone according to plan
I could have gotten jobs for me and my clan
Senator Burris, could I get another donation from you?

seth / January 26, 2009 5:15 PM

Eliot as usual is appropriate. Let Blago speak for himself and his kind:


We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
Our dried voices, when
We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass
Or rats' feet over broken glass
In our dry cellar


Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the shadow


This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.

wes / January 26, 2009 9:00 PM

This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang, but a hairbrush

igo / January 26, 2009 10:09 PM

In each human heart terror survives
The raven it has gorged: the loftiest fear
All that they would disdain to think were true:
Hypocrisy and custom make their minds
The fanes of many a worship, now outworn.
They dare not devise good for man's estate,
And yet they know not that they do not dare.


Cletus Warhol / January 27, 2009 11:01 AM

Senate seat golden
Won't give it up for nothing
Patti needs new job

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