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Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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Monday, July 22

Gapers Block

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Andrew / November 26, 2007 12:22 AM

See here for background.

The obvious: Old Navy Pier.
The less obvious: Navy Pier 1.

David / November 26, 2007 3:37 AM

How about the "James R. Thompson/Center"?

pantagrapher / November 26, 2007 8:20 AM

British Petroleum Beach

quack / November 26, 2007 9:44 AM

how 'bout the patronage hacks pay for all the shit they've already got their names on? Daley Plaza, the Thompson Center, all those stupid "open tolling by blagojevich" signs....

Brian / November 26, 2007 10:12 AM

Frank Calabrese Memorial City Hall.
Just kidding! Really! Don't put a hit on my head!

I think to help the CTA, each L stop should be sponsored. We could even get the CTA guy to make the stop announcements into commercials. Examples: "This is Lake, brought to you by Dunkin' Donuts. America Runs on Dunkin'. Now with 14 locations in the loop." "This is Rosemont, brought to you by Ikea — Affordable solutions for better living."

And then we can move on to other things, such as the Verizon Wireless North Avenue Beach, the Revlon Montrose Harbor, the McDonald's Grant Park. And if we're still in need, we could sell sponsorships to streets: "Home Depot Diversey Pkwy." "Jewel-Osco Western Ave." "Fox Sports Chicago Ave." When we're really desperate, then we can go for naming the city-owned buildings.

Kevin / November 26, 2007 10:28 AM

The Viagra Triangle brought to you by Viagra.

It's the little triangle of land where State and Rush come together.

sam b / November 26, 2007 10:53 AM

the golden nugget coast

shedd's spread country crock aquarium

Andrew / November 26, 2007 10:53 AM

Brian, I've been saying the South Loop CTA stops should be sponsored by Dunkin' Donuts, since they have the Pink and Orange lines right together.

charlie / November 26, 2007 11:37 AM

Gapers Block37

Matt / November 26, 2007 11:42 AM

The HoneyBaked-Bucking-Ham Fountain

Dutch101 / November 26, 2007 11:51 AM

I think that I am simultaneously horribly repulsed and strangely attracted to the idea of naming everything in the city.
How bout Lincoln Park?

Cheryl / November 26, 2007 12:02 PM

The UPS Brown Line.

skafiend / November 26, 2007 12:17 PM

The United Arab Emirates Dan Ryan Expressway

Halliburton Soldier Field

Kate / November 26, 2007 12:18 PM

Andrew, nice. And Clinton (pink and green) can be sponsored by Izod. Instagentrification!

Brian / November 26, 2007 12:22 PM

The Tropicana Orange Line

Eamon / November 26, 2007 1:03 PM

The Folger's 100% Colombian Arabica Bean

skafiend / November 26, 2007 1:12 PM

The Chicago City Council Chambers, sponsored by the National Pork Producers Council

Brian / November 26, 2007 1:14 PM

Ooh, here's a new opportunity for sponsorship... get people with the same last names as the expressways to give big chunks of money and have them renamed for them! The Barbara Edens Expressway! The Ted Kennedy Expressway! The George Ryan Expressway!

Andrew / November 26, 2007 1:26 PM

Hey folks, don't forget that the City doesn't own the CTA. We're talking about *other* naming opportunities.

Brian / November 26, 2007 1:46 PM

True, the city doesn't own the CTA, the elevated structure or stations (that was more an idea to help them, but whatever). However, the city does own the subway tunnels and stations — just not the tracks. So they could still do sponsored stations in the subways.

The city doesn't own the expressways, either, so I guess my plan for that is moot.

I stand behind my original plan: Beaches, harbors, buildings, parks & streets.

Val / November 26, 2007 1:46 PM

Marina Citi

Extreme marketing at it's finest...

Brian / November 26, 2007 1:57 PM

And if we get really desperate, we can sell advertising on individual street light poles, much like the community banners up on some of them now, except more like vertical billboards.

My guess is there's at least a few million light poles in this city. $2,000 per pole per month for ad space could add up. Well, sure, some are more attractive to advertisers than others, such as intersections and the more major thoroughfares, but this is something that could actually work.

And actually, there again, the rate could be variable depending upon the street. For instance, poles on N. Clark St. or W. Belmont would fetch more per month than, say, N. Sheffield because there's more traffic.

Hmmm. I need to call my alderman. This is something that could seriously work and they wouldn't have to raise city taxes!

Eamon / November 26, 2007 3:22 PM

Brian, that's a great idea!

for 10% off at Filene's Basement!

to your need for new shoes at Payless!

unless you're headed back to American Mattress for additional savings!

bucky / November 26, 2007 3:28 PM

Anything related to a personal hygiene type product would get my vote, whatever the structure:

Tampax Park
Kleenex Center
Kotex Expressway
Preparation H Highway
Beano Field
Gas-X Skyway
Bengay Airport

skafiend / November 26, 2007 4:43 PM

City U-Haul

Midway Movers Airport

Kennedy FedExpressway

Justin / November 26, 2007 7:26 PM

The Ziploc Clean Up After Your F***ing Dog Sidewalk.

The GLAD Clean Up After Your F***ing Dog Sidewalk.

The Hefty Clean Up After Your F***ing Dog Sidewalk.

Mayor Daley, please sell my neighborhood.

Benjy / November 26, 2007 9:20 PM

I'm thinking that selling the "L" lines would face the least resistance, particularly if it helped stave off the monthly dooms day scenarios (some borrowed from others above):

- Big Red Line
- UPS Brown Line
- JetBlue Line
- Tropicana Orange Line
- Victoria's Secret Pink Line
- Yellow Cab Line
- Jolly Green Giant Line
- "Purple Cow" by Seth Godin Line

flange / November 27, 2007 9:34 AM

judging by the ads already on the light poles, the city should just start selling weight loss pills and herbal viagra.

Brian / November 27, 2007 11:32 AM

Ya know, yesterday afternoon after I posted my idea, I went down to the loop to run a few errands. It was then that I noticed there are already ads on the light poles! I noticed it at LaSalle & Washington. But they are not consistently on every lightpole throughout the city. So, I think the city's marketing department needs to step up the campaign. We've got hundreds (thousands?) of streets and a few million light poles. Get crackin' city hall!

steven / November 27, 2007 1:02 PM

It is beyond pathetic that our city governments feel they must sell the rights to city landmarks, buildings, images, brands, etc in an effort to raise money to shore up the budget. How about they hire someone to come in and teach fiscal and budget management?

I hate to think that at some point in my life everything will be "Brought to you by..."

"City Hall, brought to you by Procter and Gamble. Cuz you're going to need everything we got to deal with all the shit they want you to swallow."

skafiend / November 27, 2007 3:07 PM

Just sell the naming rights of the entire city to one company and get it over with...

"CHICAGO ... For Dummies"

JD / November 27, 2007 10:45 PM

Linkin Park?
God forbid.
Betty Lauren Maltice Correctional Center?
Stroger "Law" School?
George Ryan CDL Licensing Facility?
Drew Peterson's, Learning Annex class ,"OJ, and how to do your best to get away with murder.

Carlotta / November 27, 2007 11:14 PM

-- the Kmart blue light special police surveillance camera

-- a slight revision for the carousel in Lincoln Park Zoo : AT&T Customer Service Merry-Go-Round

Ramsin / November 28, 2007 12:39 AM

Chicago City Hall, Brought To You By Development Interests.

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