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Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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Oketo / January 3, 2006 10:33 AM

Top Ten Losses in 2005:

1) The Artful Dodger
2) Tiny Lounge
3) Demon Dogs
4) Hayes Healey Building (on DePaul Campus)
5) CTA Cash Fares
6) Bluepoint Restaurant
7) Terra Museum
8) LaSalle Hotel Garage
9) The seams on the Bean
10) Marshall Fields (or is that in 2006?)

Lexington / January 3, 2006 10:38 AM

Top Five Things for City Hall to Ban (or maybe just enforce):

1) Driving in the bike lane
2) Turning from the outside lane
3) Panhandlers on all 4 corners on an intersection
4) Those who say they'll NEVER go to Macy's
5) Strip malls

amyc / January 3, 2006 11:34 AM

The Terra Museum closed in October 2004, y'all.

holden / January 3, 2006 11:40 AM

Top Ten things I miss most about Chicago.
(not in any order)

1- Free museaum passes from the library
2- Walks on Logan Blvd
3- Watching soccer @ Ginger's Ale House
4- Arturo's Tacos
5- the "L"
6- Sunday buffets on Devon
7- Great thrift stores
8- Double Door
9- mini-pitchers at the Mutiny
10-the LakeView YMCA

oh, and 11 - IKEA

steve sleeve / January 3, 2006 11:52 AM

top ten moments of r. kelly's "trapped in the closet" (chapters 1-12)

1. twan says "that's what i'm talkin bout man point that shit towards the door"
2. he says yes, i says no, he says yes, i says no, he says "here's the truth"
3. he continues to rough up the midget as though the midget were under attack
4. shit, think, shit, think, shit, quick put me in the closet
5. spatula-aaa-aaa (background vocal)
6. i said "cool, climax, just let go my leg"
7. there's a mystery goin on and i'm gonna solve it
8. then i pulled back the cover / oh my god a rubber (rubber, rubber, rubber)
9. the acapella breakdown in ch. 12 ("motherfucker try it / bitch / skank / come on")
10. he said wait a minute i said "no you wait a minute"

paul / January 3, 2006 11:54 AM

Top ten things in Chicago with no particular theme.

Getting into the Art Institute for a couple of bucks. ($12 is a 'suggested donation').

The smell of the Amorphophallus blooming in the Lincoln Park Conservatory.

You can drink on the Metra.

Lower Wacker Dr. The only true cellphone-using-driver free place in the city.

Walking into the rain forest in the Bird House (or the Africa House or the small mammal/reptile house) on a frigid winter day, in Lincoln Park - one of the country's last free zoos.

The bartenders at Club Lago.

Standing outside on the east side of Navy Pier, 3,000 feet out on Lake Michigan, on a frigid winter's day, then warming up in the Crystal Gardens (or Charlie's Ale House).

The pedway. It's like spelunking, but with shoe shine booths.

The great art in Chicago's bars - the model ships at John Barleycorn, the stuff on the walls in Big Chicks, Hothouse, Darkroom or Delilah's, the Tiffany lights in Gullivers (okay that's a restaurant, not a bar) not to mention cocktails at MCA on First Fridays.

I can't think of a tenth thing, but I'm sure there is one.

jp / January 3, 2006 12:45 PM

Top 10 Celebrity Break-Ups of 05:

1. Nicole and DJ AM
2. Nick and Jessica
3. Brad and Jen
4. Paris and Paris
5. Kimberly and Talan
6. Kirsten and Jake (x3)
7. MK and Stavros
8. Renee and Kenny
9. Charlie and Denise
10. Tom Cruise and America

Leah / January 3, 2006 1:01 PM

1. Chicken Pot Pie at Jack's/404 Wine Bar.
2. Uptown Bikes rehabbing my 1960s Scwhinn and introducing me into the world of biking in Chicago.
3. Vive La Femme outfitting me for every important moment of the year.
4. Mark Feuerstein in "In Her Shoes" the movie.
5. Metropolis Coffee & Staff
6. 147 Outer Loop Express
7. Dim Sum Brunch at The Phoenix
8. Transit Strike was in New York and not Chicago.
9. My mortgage guy and realtors getting me into a condo.
10. Learning how to use RSS.

Steve / January 3, 2006 1:11 PM

1. Chocolate
2. Vanilla
3. Butterpickle
4. Hasselhoffberry
5. Eau de Kanye
6. New mango-flavored Listerine
7. Print Cartridge Crunch
8. Used-diaper-scented Lysol
9. Ear wax bean soup
10. Kellogg's Garlic Pops

hey I'm leah, too / January 3, 2006 1:12 PM

Top 5 foxiest Cubs (2005 team only!)

5. Mark Prior--making out with him is a priority. Har har har.
4. Greg Maddux--babetown!
3. Michael Barrett--[insert speculatory joke about pitching/catching here]
2. Corey Patterson--You know he's foine.
1. Todd Wellemeyer--Be still my heart. The dreamiest.

libby / January 3, 2006 1:27 PM

top ten meats:

10. roasted chicken (ina garten's recipe)
9. squirrel
8. brisket (grandma tex's recipe)
7. bison burger
6. filet migon
5. turkey sausage
4. venison sausage
3. chicken/feta/spinach sausage (hot doug's)
2. pork roast wrapped in pancetta (giada de laurentiis' recipe)
1. crispy prosciutto wrapped melon

BAMD / January 3, 2006 1:40 PM

Hugo Chavez
Edward G. Robinson
Charlie Rose
Dolph Lundgren

PBS Junkie / January 3, 2006 2:06 PM

Top ten Chicago area public television programs for 2005:

1. Chicago from the River
2. Frontline
3. Nova
4. Point Of View (POV)
5. Chicago Tonight
6. Check, Please!
7. Two Men in a Trench
8. Mexico: One plate at a time w/ Rick Bayless
9. America's Test Kitchen
10. Independent Lens

slb / January 3, 2006 2:23 PM

top 10 places that ate my paychecks in 2005, roughly in reverse order of amount of $$ spent:

10. Hot Dougs. All those sausages add up.
9. The Doc Store on Belmont. One pair of expensive 20 holes. Worth it.
8. Delilahs.
7. American Apparel.
6. Rodan. Brunch is my downfall.
5. Estelles. Beer is my other downfall.
4. Quimby's.
3. Elliots designer resale on Lincoln.
2. Handlebar. Beer + brunch = double downfall.
1. Trader Joe's, the hands-down winner.

the Rhinestone Cowboy / January 3, 2006 4:08 PM

10) Sennheiser open-backed headphones
9) A baby fossa
8) Fog
7) eBay search language
6) Hacksaw Jim Duggan
5) a baby binturong that smells like popcorn
4) "Shanghai Lil"
3) the special cards in Candy Land
2) a reproduction WWII-era kukri

and, for YET ANOTHER consecutive year,

1) my enormous Johnson!

Brian / January 3, 2006 4:08 PM

Top 10 Southside destinations of 2005
10. Dan Ryan Woods Bike Trails
9. Lindy's Chili
8. Beverly Records
7. Manny's Deli
6. Midway Plaisance
5. Longwood Drive
4. 35th street red line stop
3. 35th street Green Line Stop
2. Pregame parties in U.S. Cellular Parking Lot
1. U.S. Cellular Field

Bill / January 3, 2006 5:05 PM

My Top Ten Top 10 Lists of 2005

10: Harold Mather's List of Ointments

9: Jacob Nivitz's List of Target Hotties

8: Nancy Bermejo's List of People Who Use Way More Dental Floss Than Is Necessary

7: Coach Fulton's List of Queers

6: Frank Spirda's List of "Why I Hurt"

5: Sandra Brennan's List of Nights She Meant to Go Out But Stayed Home

4: Otkir Halivov's List of Uzbeki Discotheques

3: Calvin Oliver's List of Who's Screwing Who at the DMV

2: Jane Matteson's List of Smells From That One Apartment

1: Herbie Schultz's List of Shmucks

Robin / January 3, 2006 6:07 PM

Top 10 Thrift Store Finds of 2005

1. 3 matching blue flowered Pyrex mixing bowls - $6
2. Most awesome white quilt with no stains - $4
3. Andrea Dworkin's Pornography - $2
4. Merriam-Webster dictionary from 1936 (the word computer isn't even in it) - $2
5. Framed needlepoint silhouette of Abe Lincoln - $3
6. Hand-painted Louis IV statue in hideous pastel colors. He has crossed eyes. $6
7. Alberta Ferretti evening dress, tres chic! $10
8. Christian Louboutin pumps with buckle - $12
9. Salton sandwich maker. I'm serious! $4
10. Teak credenza - $30

Carrie / January 3, 2006 6:12 PM

Top Ten Random Things In No Particular Order:

1) starting the process of buying my own place and having sister to experience it with me because she's buying the one right above mine.
2) getting rid of bad/weird people in my life
3) hamster pictures online
4) Greece, Delphi in particular
5) mashed potatoes at least once a week. dreamy
6) finally finding the perfect length for my bangs
7) naps and lots of them
8) remembering all year that when I drink vodka, it can only be on the rocks because mixing doesn't work well for me
9) Dad's wedding
10) having a healthy kitty with no more stinky kitty breath since she just had 6 bad teeth removed.

hench / January 3, 2006 7:29 PM

top ten places to drink at least one beer:

10) lincoln park during a quick break from biking all over

9) delilah's on vintage soul nights

8) backstage, irving plaza, nyc

7) map room on a frosty sunday afternoon - free food & heavy stouts

6) walking down lawrence ave to catch the brown line at kimball

5) backstage, the vic, chicago

4.5) backstage, koolhaus, toronto

4) twisted spoke which leads to pontiac which then stumbles to handlebar which finally staggers over to estelle's

3) monkey pub, seattle (tied with shorty's, also in seattle)

2) hifi, east village, nyc

1.5) the neeland new year's eve bash of 2004-05

1) up your mom's a s s

Patrick / January 3, 2006 7:35 PM

1. Phil Rogers
2. Sam Smith
3. Ron Rapoport
4. Teddy Greenstein
5. Ed Sherman
6. Mark Potash
7. K.C. Johnson
8. David Haugh
9. Brad Biggs
10. Greg Couch

MikeH / January 3, 2006 8:37 PM

Top 10 Memorable Things I did in Chicago '05
(in no particular order)

1. Lollapalooza
2. free Moby concert - Grant Park
3. free Buddy Guy concert - Bluesfest
4. Bears v. Panthers - skybox suite
5. Pride Parade
6. free Modest Mouse concert - from a boat anchored off Northerly Island
7. free Outdoor Film Festival - any week
8. took a beginning drawing class - Lill Street
9. joined the Lakeview YMCA
10. met my girlfriend

K / January 4, 2006 9:17 AM

Ten things about Chicago that made this year interesting for me:

First Millenium Park Visit.
Mai Tais at Wrigley Field.
White Sox honking, fireworks, and gun shots.
102 degrees at Lollapalooza.
Snow before Christmas but not after.
90/94 toll squeeze traffic.
Raffle / Crapple.
The donation demanded at Garfield Conservatory.
Double Door.
Division Street.

Homer / January 4, 2006 12:42 PM

Top Ten Things I need to NOT repeat in 2006:

10. Barf at my Christmas party
09. Part 2: Break up, get back together (sort of), break up, etc.
08. Put grass in hookah and not tell anybody
07. Make out with a co-worker
06. Drink #4
05. Let ex-girlfriends stay over b/c they're lonely
04. Make questionable investments with my father
03. Part 1: Break up, get back together (sort of), break up, etc.
02. Know what I'm doing at my day job
01. Loose objectivity

roderick / January 4, 2006 1:03 PM

Top ten photographs that I missed:


Damn, what could have been.

JT / January 4, 2006 6:19 PM

Top 10 Uncool Things I Had To Spend Money On in 2005:

10. Pull-Ups and diapers
9. Toilet paper in bulk
8. Lunchables ("hot dogs only, Mommy!")
7. Syringes -- for cat insulin
6. Nursing bras
5. Goldfish crackers in bulk
4. A suburban apartment
3. Ketchup in bulk
2. Non-alcoholic beer
1. Gas

matty / January 5, 2006 10:52 AM

Things Chicago Needs But Will Never Get

1. CTA Circle Line - Connecting Wicker Park, Pilsen, the Westtown and the Northside all in one go.

2.New Anchor Businesses - Boeing is not enough to replace all of the nationals we lost in recent years

3. Better PR - Chicago needs to be as "in your face" as New York is. More Chicago in the media means more people visiting, doing business, etc...We really got to hire DDB or something or an image makeover

3. A Cubs Overhawl - Tribune needs to start getting tougher on their management to get some good players and a good lineup. Any management than can blow a playoff with what they had needs to be purged.

5. Grand City Plan - That is, a 5 year plan every year to have at least one major goal accomplished towards a goal of how the city should look and feel in the coming decade. Also a blue print of how to get there. Chicago 2020 doesn't seem to cut it.

6.An absolute purge of corrupt city officials with new forms of hiring practices to boot. It is an embarassment that we have the nation's larget FBI anti-corruption bureau here and yet they are still under staffed.

7. A cohesive a fair (to both sides) preservation arbitration comittee - one that is independt of the city and one that is based both business and aesthetic needs.

8. Super commuter trains to O'Hare and Midway that make only one stop between downtown and their respective airports. 10 bucks seems a pretty fair price for that one.

9. Stronger involvement in great lakes preservation projects - this is the water that will nourish the entire world one day - it is our job to protect it.

10. More bars. Always more bars.

matty / January 5, 2006 10:54 AM

sorry about the major typos.

emily / January 5, 2006 11:00 AM

my top 10:

10. meeting lots of new people. (all year)
9. watching friends get married. (sept)
8. green bronx pumps. (oct)
7. 4th of july party on my roof. (july)
6. trip to hawaii. (april)
5. pushing myself to be crafty. (all year)
4. new baby nephew. (july)
3. thanksgiving at my own house. (nov)
2. going car-less. (feb)
1. new job. (june)

appopt / January 5, 2006 11:28 AM

Matty for Mayor in 2006!

e_five / January 5, 2006 12:48 PM

Top 10 crappiest moments of 2005

1. Being diagnosed HIV positive.
2. Being diagnosed with syphilis.
3. My sister in law losing her baby.
4. The first night of side effects on HIV meds.
5. Finding out a high school friend committed suicide.
6. The series of painful shots for syphilis.
7. Losing my glasses, getting them replaced, then losing the new glasses three weeks later.
8. Getting called at work about being four days late on payment for a student loan.
9. Not having enough money to get out of town for the holidays.
10. Not having enough money to move out of my depressing apartment that shakes everytime the El goes by.

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