Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
✶ Thank you for your readership and contributions. ✶
Sunday, October 6
I get off on art.
wam wind blowing across the back of my legs.
the boy stroking my hair.
humble intelligence.
Water.
Melissa.
1) Biology
2) When my boyfriend kisses my neck, where my ear meets my jawbone
3) Brian Greene's books on theoretical physics
4) Someone that uses their intelligence to engage in a great debate about something they truly believe in, but doesn't take the debate personally
5) Accents
Bacon.
A firm twist of my knob.
I'll second sun dresses...as well as Anna Davlantes, for that matter...
also, pretty, painted toes on a dainty woman's feet (bonus points for crossing one's legs and letting the shoe dangle precariously from the tip of one's foot)...
an uxexpected smile from a stranger for no good reason...
an attractive woman who can also cook...
the "sexy librarian" look (i.e. glasses + book = intelligence)...
free spirits...
more to come once my coffee kicks in...
Gapers block! Get yer mind outta the gutter, wonder where this thread will end
Sundresses -- is that what they're called? Yeah, sundresses.
tight leather pants (on me)
a sharp double edged knife being lightly dragged across my stomach
by the person I love and trust.
;-)
- The red floral print sun dress. Why else do I sit there and watch that Magic Bullet commercial for the full 30 minutes?
- curly hair, as in a lion's mane of tightly curled ringlets
- women who flick their tongues out when pronouncing worlds like these, that, those
- skin smooth like polished marble
- short women
So if you're 4'8" to 5'2" with a tight perm and a sun dress, you are my kryptonite.
OK, cobwebs beginning to clear now...
women who practice yoga...
women who love dogs...
and a more natural look "down there"...i have never been a particularly big fan of the shaved or Brazilian trend...
I have a feeling I'm still not done yet...
Intelligence + personality
An awesome sense of humor
Baseball players who wear their socks pulled up
And the Boy, of course.
the way he lights a cigarette.
shoulders, forearms.
wit.
made up languages.
belly laughs.
being silly.
reading.
josh lyman - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Josh_Lyman.
A luxurious, delicious meal.
That moment of contentment while lingering in bed on a Sunday afternoon when I fully appreciate my body, while curling my hair around my fingertips.
Seeing a man in a suit that fits him perfectly.
Really, a well-dressed man, period, is a turn-on...as it doesn't happen very often. Or at least I don't get the pleasure to see it that often.
Listening to someone talk about something they are really passionate and knowledgeable about.
Wicked sense of humor.
Someone who smiles easily.
Someone who is gracious, kind, and yet has a backbone.
Full lips.
Nice Hands.
Nice legs. Oh, how I appreciate a man with nice, muscular thighs. :::le sigh:::
And of those nice legs are attached to a tall man, so be it.
Standing on warm, white sand looking over the Gulf of Mexico in complete solitude.
a hearty, honest, loud laugh
I second someone who smiles easily
baseball players
kirk hinrich when he does a crossover dribble. 4rl.
a good pun
a truly funny woman
a smart woman
a woman I can take inspiration from
a woman in "grocery shopping" clothes - jeans, tshirt, sweats
a woman who works out (not insanely, but...)
women who are tipsy drunk where they're relaxed, not sloppy drunk.
bold women
curly haired women
red haired women
Rosario Dawson, Mariska Hartigay, Sandra Oh, that one woman from that Illinois Lottery commercial, the one where there are scenes shot in different thematic colors (yellow - guys watching basketball, blue - people in laundromat. she's in the last segment, the green/nightclub thing. she's the tall, slender one on the left. when she does tha shimmy dance thing, I have to excuse myself to the bathroom).
Oh, and oatmeal cookies, a great infield play, when I write what think is a particulary good scene in this play I'm working on, payday and driving around on a warm day with the top down (like today).
I think I just had an orgy with myself...
When I'm winked at
Green Eyes that are kind
Long eyelashes
Wit
when I'm touched, pretty much anywhere, but particularly the legs and feet.
And a man who isn't affraid of a little housework.
* Above all else - a brown-eyed brunette with olive skin.
* The small of a woman's back with a light coat of sweat on it.
* WORK - the muse does not visit when you're waiting for a train.
* Jam sessions! You never know what direction you and your instrument are about to take.
* Bicycling all the way to Ardmore Beach on a summer evening.
* Rosario Dawson, Odalys Garcia, and that latin woman on "Grey's Anatomy".
* Guitars by Rickenbacker!
* The inherent confidence of punk rock girls.
* Recognizing what I see in someone else as genuine and enthusiastic passion (this rarely happens), even if it's regarding something I disagree with or are indifferent towards.
This thread.
* Above all else - a brown-eyed brunette with olive skin.
* The small of a woman's back with a light coat of sweat on it.
* WORK - the muse does not visit when you're waiting for a train.
* Jam sessions! You never know what direction you and your instrument are about to take.
* Bicycling all the way to Ardmore Beach on a summer evening.
* Rosario Dawson, Odalys Garcia, and that latin woman on "Grey's Anatomy".
* Guitars by Rickenbacker!
* The inherent confidence of punk rock girls.
* Recognizing what I see in someone else as genuine and enthusiastic passion (this rarely happens), even if it's regarding something I disagree with or are indifferent towards.
+ intelligence and quick wit definitely
+ blue jeans, t-shirt that cuts straight across right at the waist, and work/engineer boots.
+ a guy who can work with his hands, turn a wrench, build a bookshelf, and still knows how to clean up and dress for a dinner out.
+ passion. for their work, for beauty, for honor and truth
+ deep eyes that when I look into them something tickles inside just below my belly button.
+ good arms.
Making eye contact with my boyfriend across the room.
Unexpected touches...if I'm talking to my friends and then his hand is on my back.
White linen. Or great white clean shirts on a tan boy.
Latinos.
Bilingual men.
When someone can handle a roomful of people with ease.
* Above all else - a brown-eyed brunette with olive skin.
* The small of a woman's back with a light coat of sweat on it.
* WORK - the muse does not visit when you're waiting for a train.
* Jam sessions! You never know what direction you and your instrument are about to take.
* Bicycling all the way to Ardmore Beach on a summer evening.
* Rosario Dawson, Odalys Garcia, and that latin woman on "Grey's Anatomy".
* Guitars by Rickenbacker!
* The inherent confidence of punk rock girls.
* Recognizing what I see in someone else as genuine and enthusiastic passion (this rarely happens), even if it's regarding something I disagree with or are indifferent towards.
* A woman over 40 who hasn't let herself go.
+ a man who can fix/build things.
+ a man who can ride a bicycle.
+ a man who can mix me a drink/pour me a glass of wine without being asked.
+ a man who gives me flowers.
+ a tall, dark, and handsome man.
= my husband.
Listening to the Junior Boys. Seeing Menomena in concert. A slightly undone tie. Arrested Development references.
The scent of vanilla, of course.
And every other thing Cosmo says will turn your man on.
No, really...vanilla?
+ a man who can mix me a drink/pour me a glass of wine without being asked.
Isn't that known as "enabling behavior"?
Girls who:
1) enjoy being alone sometimes
2) have big dark eyes
3) wear some subtle eye make up or shadow or whatever its called
4) ride bikes
5) are well-read
6) laugh a lot
7) are not finnicky eaters
8) wear sun dresses (what guy doesn't love them?)
9) have accents
10) are either aggressive or passive, but not passive-aggressive.
-kisses on my neck
-meeting up with the boyfriend and realizing he really is the cutest boy around
-his smile
-brains
-laughter
-Jude Law and George Clooney
Polyglots. Seriously, linguists are hot.
Short skirts that hug a nice ass
A really nice ass.
The way knee length skirts get tight when the one leg is forward and the other is back.
Intelligence is extremely sexy.
Natural beauty i.e. no make-up and still gorgeous.
A sense of style, not so much well dressed (expensive clothes) as dressed well the emphasis being on the way you wear what you have.
Panties. The word as well as the article.
I find confidence very sexy, but I avoid confident women like the plague.
Watching myself masturbate. I m not sure why but I find it sexy.
Steve, back in the early '90s I was very fond of wearing vanilla oil. One night, while walking up to a banquet hall where a politician's fund-raiser was being held, a guy I kinda knew came up to me and excitedly said, "Did you bring cookies?!" I gave him a look and replied, "Um, no." "Oh," he said very dejectedly, "I thought I smelled cookies."
So, yeah, vanilla = the expectation of cookies. Turns *me* on.
• a man in a plain, white button down shirt
• a man wearing his smartypants
• a big, un-self-conscious laugh
• good hands
• a wink from the right person
• cleancut men
oh, yeah, and hardcore porn.
To the men who love sundresses - you're in luck they are very "in" this year. Enjoy the girlwatching!
The glimpse of a woman's panties as her top hikes up in back upon sitting down...
I had a friend who happened to be a girl. We were never involved but she used to fart in my face like an older sibling would do to a younger. I always acted like it grossed me out but secretly I found it unbelievably sexy and it made me want to jump her bones. Other than that I only liked her as a friend and didn't even find her attractive . Occasionally I would be sitting next to woman on the train and would smell a fart and the same thing would happen. Does any other guy get off on this? Or girls?
Women who just
as radical
and talk more than I,
are well read
and not afraid of going into the dirtiest of dive bars with I,
stay in decent shape like I
dress like hipsters
have travled internationally,
and can out drink, I.
Filling stuff out, hitting "post" and having it disappear.
I like it when boys...
have a firm handshake
shoot pool well
smell like dude. not sweaty balls, but like... working in the sun, doing dude stuff, and smellin' like MAN. homina!
opps, I spelled my nom de guerre wrong, blame it on Allen.
Did you notice how his first post was"normal" at start? I was disapointed as I read it. I kept saying this isn't Allen! Where did he go?
Then the last line, there was Allan!
The next post, was all Allan!
Nicole, I'm sorry I'm not a boy because (aside from the tie) you just described me.
I like it when a (my) boy:
pets my hair
walks around with a towel tied around his waist
has sorta veiny forearms
listens to feist
doesn't wear socks
and makes that cute little "hmmmmm" sound when he's content
Wrists, from about mid-forearm to the first joint of the thumb.
Broad shoulders.
Someone wearing jeans, and nothing else.
Several strong martinis.
Having the back of my neck touched.
It is odd how Spook gets uncomfortable when I say something he perceives to be out of character for me, thus threatening to shatter the little box he likes to keep me in. Conversely he also seems to take great comfort when I say something he thinks befitting someone like me. I think Spook is more like me than he would like to admit and I have no doubt that he enjoys watching himself masturbate given his preoccupation with staying in shape, which eludes to the type of male vanity that would allow for my statement to be painfully true. Take a long look in the mirror my friend. I am you. I am you.
I am reminded of a campy '70s horror movie I watched as a kid where one man's head was transplanted onto the shoulder of another creating a two-headed abomination, only now it's spook and Allan...
- shy/sensitive types
- dark hair
- facial hair (except solo mustaches)
- a humble guy with silent confidence
- a sly smile
- an unassuming strut
Moody,
You have just described me to a tee! It is a little scary how accurate your description is. I can't help but wonder what your ass looks like?
That crease that starts at a mans illiac crest and goes down towards his pubis.
I'm not describing this well at all.
okay, here's a pic - it's a statue of a torso just in case you are at work.
The crease just below the belly - angular towards the hip. dig?
http://galerieverdun.com/art_qv/sculpture/greek_art/h-nude_torso_relief.jpg
glasses
In an unlikely twist, Spook you cracked me up. Allan, you have to admit that the fart thing was far from the little box. I think it might be hard to find a strong following of people that enjoy being farted on.
Allan-
my ass is quite nice i have to say. but, um, it's hard for me to imagine you as shy or sensitive…
judy, i always just called that the 'boy muscle' and yeah it's sexy.
also poker-face/stoic guys because its such a turn on when you see a hint of a smile or desire in their eyes.
I would have interpreted "boy muscle" differently... butwhat judy and rebecca are talking about is the epitome of sexy to me. Especially with the perfect, somewhat worn jeans riding just off the hips, and a bottle of chilled - well, chilled anything, really (see emyduck).
And strong arms - not steroidy, but strong soccer/ultimate frisbee player arms and shoulders.
Yowsa.
as for the non-physical - if it even matters -
--enjoying silliness
--honesty
--thoughtfulness
--making eye contact
--hugs
Moody,
But I am shy and sensitive. Just consider, if you will, that the Allan of GB fame is merely a clever construct, dawned by a painfully shy, emotionally vulnerable and androgynously beautiful, yet masculine man child poet. If you can consider this, then perhaps you would be closer to the truth than you might believe. Now I must wonder. How does a woman asses the quality of ones own ass?
Good topic! The answer for me is many of the above including Sun Dresses!, Bacon, the Wind, a girl with great music tastes that's not afraid to try new things, nice legs, ass, soft neck, a really good beer, and a smoke-free concert!
Rebecca and n. ya'll put your finger on it! (um, yeah, not intended. heh)
strong arms and that glint of a smile on the otherwise stoic face. mmmm
He's got to be outgoing, but not fake. Kind but not sappy. Loves sushi. Doesn't drink too much. Kinda crazy. Stable job. Likes to wrestle in bed.
n, i got that term from a friend in college. one day he was like "look, i'm developing the boy muscle!" but clearly not THE muscle, that already existed. tee hee. this thread makes me giggle.
!!!
my humble assessment comes from positive feedback and my own pair of eyes when shopping for jeans.
"androgynously beautiful" you say? starting to lose me here…
Allan-
!!! my humble assessment comes from positive feedback and my own pair of eyes when shopping for jeans.
"androgynously beautiful" you say? starting to lose me here�
Some of these are starting to sound like personal ads.
GB jumps to CL? Hey Andrew - how 'bout how many of you GB kids have used the internets to find some sweet sweet lovin'? Sundresses optional.
I can't help but wonder how many female Gapersblockers will be inclined to run out and shop for sun dresses after reading this thread (assuming they don't already own any)...
Or for that matter, how many of the guys will be searching the internet tonight for exercises that develop the "boy muscle"...
I know I will...
Short curvy brunettes with glasses.
oh! i forgot...southern accents. so. damn. sexy.
tall, humble, sexy lips, low voice, very very smart, funny, interesting (like not-your-typical-everyday-shmuck), he must have good musical taste, kinda off-beat sense of humor, independent, somehwat worldly, strong hands.....
what else...oh yeah, when the guy really gets into it and spanks me. Not very hard. Or when he gets turned on and holds me reeeaaallly close to him.
and yeah, that area you guys are calling the boy muscle. hmmm.
I don't like loud people.
...and I'll also give a nod to skafiend and second redheads, as well as accents (Southern is good, but European is even better).
There. I should be done now. I think...
I'm half tempted to come to the Friday GB party just to see how many women arrive in sun dresses now.
*broad shoulders
*curly hair
*a warm smile
*boys wearing headphones
*strong hands and forearms
*brainy boys
*guys with big dogs
*weird sense of humor
*great taste in music... by MY standards.
Wow, this is some good fodder for my next Public Notice column. How's about you all find me at this Friday's GB party at the Hideout and we'll talk some personal ads -- or glory holes. Whatev.
Shylo
A Tinge of Existential Angst. It's nice to meet a woman (in a sun-dress of course!) who's willing to think about the really big picture now-and-then...
navels
When the boy took off his sweater to pass it on to a buddy, and his shirt came up all the way, unintendedly. Oh boy.
a smooth back.
hair. (nót on the smooth back, but on one's face, or preferably, head)
And the way he's insecure about himself.
When the boy took off his sweater to pass it on to a buddy, and his shirt came up all the way, unintendedly. Oh boy.
a smooth back.
hair. (not on the smooth back, but on one's face, or preferably, head)
And the way he's insecure about himself.
Moody,
I said "androgynously beautiful, yet masculine". Yet masculine! if you quote me out of context people are going to think I am a weirdo.
Also, I would like to know what the male equivalent to the sun dress would be. Ladies?
male equivalent to the sun dress?
Personally, I like the jeans and a white t-shirt with a wrench in one hand and a mischievious smile on the face.
Rugged, humorous, sexy and sensual.
male equivalent to the sun dress?
I like the jeans and a white t-shirt with a wrench in one hand and a mischievious smile on the face.
Rugged, humorous, sexy and sensual.
Long hair. The kind that catches your breath when it moves just that way.
I wonder if Andrew and crew aren't priming us for a personals section.
What is it with this sun dress fetish? No, no, no, no... OK, perhaps they permit for easy access when the, um, need suddenly arises, or maybe a little glimpse if the sun and the person wearing them are in the proper coordinates. Maybe that's what guys are reacting to when they see them. And I'm sure they're comfortable for women. But as far as flattering the female form? Forget it. It's a straight up and down dress. Blah. Give me jeans, jean shorts, a littlle black dress. hell, even sweat pants. Give me a t-shirt, a Nike jogging top... give me somthing that fits the form and lets you show what your momma gave ya. I wanna get a good idea of what's doing. Sundresses are for little girls at a picnic with their families.
Oh, and women that make the first move on a man is a GIMONGOUS turn on.
shaved heads and strong hands. stand-offish stoicism, biting sarcasm and bone dry humor BUT being an absolute prince at the same time.
knowing stuff about stuff. spontaneous dancing/wiggling.
the male equivalent to the sundress is probably the mesh half-shirt, summer-comfort-wise. sexy-wise, not so much...
I am looking for sexy-wise so I can go shopping.
The male equivalent of the sundress…hmm…for me it would be tight dark blue jeans and an equally tight black t-shirt for starters.
women making the first move used to be a huge turn on to me until I met a total psycho.
otherwise i'm a fan of a nice set of gams, tennis players, and women who smile back (and the sundress, of course)
wow, i sound like a pig.
Yea Ska, the sun dress reminds me of “town and country”, but a pair of Frye harness boots would mos def put sexy back into play for a sundress wearer, yea women who rock Frye harness boots…… gurrrrrrrr!
Oh and women who rock those, visible- thigh high sockie things!
Moody:
how can you mention the
"androgynously beautiful, yet masculine" part and leave out the “man child poet.” Part!
Yea Allan, keep it going, cause.......
You belong to this thread!
It's in your moves
it's in your blood
You're the androgynously beautiful, yet masculine man child poet of the Gaper Streets
looking to smell a girls farts
I am with my boys Ska and Spook. What's the deal with the sun dress anyway? Is it a sun or a dress? If you wear pants in the sun do they become sun pants? What's next sun hats! Outrageous. After all what is a sun dress other than yet another unneeded euphemism for a moo-moo, and ther is nothing sexy about moo moos. Am I right people.
A sundress could be very form-fitting and sexy in a more laidback kind of a way (summer dresses in a J. Crew catalog for example)vs. the black mini-skirt and fishnet stockings sexy in a va-va voom kind of way.
A boy who is kind and has a dry sense of humor.
Lean, athletic legs
Knows how to carry on an intellectually stimulating convos about literature and philosophy and the purpose of life in spiritual terms.
A sundress could be very form-fitting and sexy in a more laidback kind of a way (summer dresses in a J. Crew catalog for example) vs. the black mini-skirt and fishnet stockings kind of sexy in an in your face kind of way.
Turn ons:
A boy who is kind and has a dry sense of humor.
Lean, athletic legs
Knows how to carry on intellectually stimulating convos about literature and philosophy, and the purpose of life in spiritual terms.
Olive.... "very form fitting"? and it's still a sun dress? i thought that was the exact opposite of the purpose of a sundress?
Alan...don't fuck with moo moos. Totie Fields* made my d*** hard every time I saw her.
*obscure old TV variety show reference.
skafiend,
Okay, not "very" form-fitting, but there are numerous incarnations and versions of sun dresses. I am not talking about miu-mius. I am talking about strapless, sleeveless, cut nicely to bring out the your curves, not skin-tight. Not clingy, but figure-flattering. Go online and go to outdoor summer weddings and you will know what I am talking about. Or, I could be totally way off because I more on the modest side.
Look at these dresses. I could see why a lot of the guys mentioned sun dresses - of course this is enveloped in the whole summer dress category
http://www.jcrew.com/catalog/category.jhtml;jsessionid=UOSU1JGAHXVDACTFEEKRX1QKMUQQ0GUG?id=cat180145&navAction=jump
The 1930-1940’s female French spy look.
Black skirt, black knee high boots, black thigh high stockings, red turtle neck with a black blazer.
The hat could be a couple different looks, and glasses are hot…both sun and real.
More of a Fall look…oh-la-la!
OK, those were "nice" dresses. But when I think turn on, I don't think "nice". Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't give the bum's rush to a woman because she's wearing, But the dressing on the link you gave makes me wonder even more why guys are going batshit over them. Nice dresses, but ...eh.
Oh, did I mention I have absolutely no fashion sense?
sorry for turning this board into a Bravo channel show...
i believe it's "muu-muu," a tent-like housedressish garment, unlike the flirty, short, bareshouldered sundress. not to be confused with a caftan or sari.
where's bea arthur when we need her? she could drop science on this muu-muu talk.
I think all the guys that are into the sun dresses like the idea of porking something that looks like a flower. The "turn on" comes from the fantasy of soiling something innocent and pretty.
sense of humor.
humility.
becoming more attractive after you start talking.
athletic but not hyper competitive.
skiers.
lacrosse players.
backrubs.
tingley kisses.
Come on yall. All this talk of sundresses got you looking at a Banna Repubic book (via second party) online! Have ya lost yer minds! Screw the sun dresses give me the frye boots, vintage clothing, and the thorns.
Allan's right!
Down with the Town and County, Banna Republic, Polo pre Moo Moos aka sundresses!
I think all the guys that are into the sun dresses like the idea of porking something that looks like a flower. The "turn on" comes from the fantasy of soiling something innocent and pretty.
In what terms would you explain your fart fetish then?
I don't have a fart fetish. I have never asked a girl to fart on me or even in my vicinity but on the occasion that it has occurred I found it very arousing but if I had to guess as to why it was arousing I think it would have to be that the smell of farts reminds me of my mother.
An old man farted in the train this morning and it smelled like a dirty rotting diaper. Allan would've loved it. Yet, oddly enough, Spook came to mind.
I like the pilar dress in white.
I h-a-t-e it when guys wear tight clothes. that's a turn off.
If I went to a GB event, I would never admit I am me. I'd say I was someone else.
I actually don't care for man farts.
The smell of fresh sawdust or a freshly mowed lawn.
Warm sunlight filtered through the leaves in a cool forest.
The flecks of green in my husband's brown eyes.
Soccer shorts.
Fluffy:
Do you hate it when guys wear tight clothes because you wear wear moo moos to hide all that junk in the elbows, chin, stomach, thighs, ankles, arms, neck, face, waist, fingers, and trunk?
ankles
postcards
shoulder blades
chanteuses
pencil nibbles
the smell of a new book
earlobes
appetite
thunderstorms
auburn
the small of the back
quick-witted exchanges
cellos/cellists
soft, smooth, cold hands
a woman reading in bed
coy eyes behind glasses
laughter
spooning
the first snow of the year
the first few seconds of feedback after an E chord rings out
mysteries and intrigue
surprises
guys who wear tight clothes are ick. Nicely fitting clothes are best. whenever I see a guy in tight shirts or jeans I giggle to myself and imagine him saying "'scuse me, which way is the gym??"
(don't be mean to fluffy)
Spook:
be nice or I'll smack the ugly right off your face with my third chin!
1. One more vote for sundresses
2. Those black running pants
3. Dangly, but not too big, earrings
4. Ponytails
As a profoundly unattractive man, I haven't even bothered to think about what turns me on - it's not like anything is going to come of it.
http://wat.midco.net/jvipond/images/patty-totie.jpg
spook and Allan?
god i miss chicago, the sundress capital of the world, sadly i have left there for new york, then london and now budapest, no sundresses here, but i am sure you can imagine what else they might be wearing! so new girls, in new things in new places, that rocks my world!
Soft lips
Intelligence peppered with wit
...and nice soft breasts.
i get turnd on when a girl farts from the ass right into my nose i love it more than enything
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misterShankly / May 23, 2007 3:59 AM
1) spying from a 3rd floor apartment.
2) crossing paths with someone on a side street who actually looks up and smiles/nods.
3) sundresses.
4) 3 pm, 80 degrees, outside seating, cold pint.
5) anna davlantes.