Dan Kelly

Make No Little Plans
Wurlington Brothers Press has published a series of postcards that allow you to make your own miniature paper Windy City! Teeny-tiny Mayor Daley not included. (We discovered it years ago, but BoingBoing just found it.)
Friday September 21 2007Found on the Web 

Ain't That a Kick in the, uh, Head?
The Trib's public editor explains why they pulled the September 14 "Get Fuzzy" comic. "We don't allow our own reporters to write vulgarities, double-entendres or untruths, even in jest," said associate managing editor for features Geoff Brown. Confine all groin injury references to the sports section, folks!
Friday September 21 2007In the News 

The Chocolate War War
Robert Cormier's The Chocolate War (number four on the ALA's most frequently challenged books list) has once again raised parental hackles. This time at John H. Kinzie Elementary School in Garfield Ridge. The irony of demanding the banning of a book that decries mindless conformity has, of course, been entirely missed by those wishing to protect the little ones from masturbation references and swear words. And hey! It's just in time for Banned Books Week!
Thursday September 20 2007Books/Authors 

Grave Matter
The juggernaut-like O'Hare expansion plan won another victory when the 7th Circuit Court of Appeals rejected the notion that relocating 1,600 graves in 158-year-old St. Johannes Cemetery in Bensenville, IL, to make room for more runways violated the Illinois Religious Freedom Restoration Act. "We are very excited about this decision," said our not-at-all-ghoulish mayor.
Friday September 14 2007Transportation 

Robopot
The Westin Chicago River North hotel wants to attract guests not just with continental breakfasts or chocolates on the pillows, but rather a super-toilet, the Brondell Swash 800. Equipped with such indulgences as a heated seat, bidet, warm air dryer (!), and water pressure controls (!!!), one wonders how this will impact local escort services.
Thursday September 13 2007Found on the Web 

I'll Catch Yer Dog Fer Ya
Surfboard goes in the lake, surfer goes in the lake. Dog's in the lake... Our dog... Farewell and adieu to you, fair Spanish ladies... Well done, Mr. Smolenski and Mr. Riopelle.
Wednesday September 12 2007In the News 

Time for Me to Float
Champaign's own REO Speedwagon plans to play while sailing down the mighty Chicago River on the Star of Chicago. Ride the storm out, guys!
Tuesday September 11 2007Music/Clubs 

Gangster Paradise
Mark Konkol, with the help of Sun Times "Mob know-it-alls" Steve Warmbir and Tim Novak, created a map of Chicago sites relevant to the ongoing "Family Secrets" trial. If you're more inclined to seek out the original gangsters, look here and here.
Friday September 7 2007In the News 

Shut Up and Drive
You may not be aware of it—and according to my personal unscientific highway survey yesterday, many people obviously aren't—but Chicago has a ban on driving while talking on and holding your cell. Best hope Officer Ramon Solidum doesn't catch you at it. And, by the by, if you're under 19 and driving in Illinois, you better not be driving and talking at all.
Monday September 3 2007In the News 

Give Me Beer, or Give Me Death
Like beer? Like beer enough to fight or even kill for it? Richard English at Modern Drunkard Magazine and Gregg Smith at BeerHistory.com provide brief, hop-filled histories of the Chicago Lager Beer Riot of 1855.
Tuesday August 28 2007Eating/Drinking 

Why Fight?
Looks like city-wide WiFi isn't a go anymore. Contractors don't want to foot the bill for antennae construction, attachment to city street lights and lamp poles, maintenance, and operation, and the city doesn't want to pay any fees. Considering the city's surveillance-happy tendencies, maybe it's not such a bad thing.
Tuesday August 28 2007City Life/Cultural 

Kracccckaabooooom!
I suppose lightning striking the Sears Tower is a fairly common occurrence, but that doesn't make it any less cool to witness. Oh sh*t!
Saturday August 25 2007Found on the Web 

Virginia Is for Gangstas
The state of Virginia's tourism agency is striking out certain images from its latest Virginia Is for Lovers campaign, "Live Passionately." Why? Because the models are making a heart symbol similar to a gang sign usually flashed by the Chicago-based Gangster Disciples (also, Japanese schoolgirls... but apparently that's beside the point). A slightly creepify before and after image from the campaign can be seen here. Yep, that's gangbanger behavior if ever I saw it.
Monday August 20 2007In the News 

HELLO BATTLING SEIZURE GODZILLA ROBOT NINJA KITTY!
Toy Karma, an exhibit of the works of artists and designers inspired by classic Japanese toys, starts September 8, at the Rotofugi Designer Toy Store and Gallery. Adorably bizarre creations by folks like Alex Wald, Frank Kozik, and many others will be on display.
Thursday August 16 2007Arts/Architecture 

The Itchy and Scratchy Show
I hope this doesn't provoke a batch of psychosomatic scratching amongst Gapers Block's readership, but the Illinois Department of Public Health reports on a hundred or so cases of folks with tiny, itchy red bites. It might be an outbreak of tree-dwelling Pyemotes herfsi, better known as the itch mite, but officials won't know for sure until after they set up and inspect sticky traps in area parks.
Tuesday August 14 2007Eating/Drinking 

This Is the Pitts
The Illinois Department of Health inspected the gorgeous-inside-and-out, Art Deco Pittsfield Building last week and then sealed off floors 13 through 21 after discovering asbestos during remodeling. I assume the lobby is still open, and safe. If so, why not stop in and enjoy a nice "alfresco" tuna melt at the Pittsfield Cafe while gawking at the magnificent Gothic ostentatiousness of the Pittsfield's five-story atrium?
Sunday August 12 2007Arts/Architecture 

Cry Havoc and Let Loose the Ducks of War!
The Windy City Rubber Ducky Derby for Special Olympics Illinois just commenced, with several thousand plastic quackers released into the Chicago River's murky green waters.
Friday August 10 2007Offbeat/Misc. Events 

Wang Dang Sweet Ma Nuge
Noted drug-free, bowhunting, conservative minstrel Ted "The Nuge" Nugent recently dedicated a memorial to his mom, Marion Nugent, in front of Palatine's Durty Nellie's. The slightly grey-haired among us might remember when Ms. Nugent wrote the Ma Nugent's Mail column for IE.
Friday August 3 2007Music/Clubs 

Here Comes Peter Cottontail, Hopping Down the Wabash Trail
Have you noticed the abundance of bunnies in the area? The Trib's Colleen Mastony explores why local Eastern cottontail rabbits are breeding like... Well, you know.
Friday July 27 2007In the News 

God Speaks
Eric Clapton spoke with Greg Kot about his lifetime fascination with South Side blues and meeting and playing with the greats back in his Yardbird days. Muddy Waters was cool. Sonny Boy Williamson II, eh, a trifle mean.
Wednesday July 25 2007Music/Clubs 

Moon Globe!
Broadview, IL-based Replogle has been making globes in the Chicago area since 1931. Naturally, the earth globes are works of art, but, so what? Freaking moon globe, man!
Monday July 23 2007Found on the Web 

Sting Operation
Ex-cons in North Lawndale are pursuing the noble art of bee-keeping as a career. (Insert pun about freedom being "sweet" or "media buzz" here.)
Friday July 20 2007Offbeat/Misc. Events 

Nostalgie de la Boue 2
Shameless self-promotion: I wrote a piece about Karen Abbott's new book Sin in the Second City and the infamous Everleigh Club for this week's Reader, which was slimmed down from a longer version (available here, in case you have some time to kill).
Friday July 13 2007Books/Authors 

No, You Can't Have Ketchup on That
Following Michael Chertoff's boogity-boogity meeting with the Tribune's editorial board, Wired Blog writer Ryan Singel raised the Homeland Security Gut Threat Level system warning to the Chicago hot dog with everything level. May God protect us from the Tijuana Danger Dog.
Wednesday July 11 2007Found on the Web 

Nostalgie de la Boue
Karen Abbott's new book, Sin in the Second City comes out today. Delve into the lusty dealings of Chicago's most notorious turn of the century house of ill repute, the Everleigh Club, which sat at the center of the stormy battle between the reform movement and the denizens of Chicago's infamous Levee district.
Tuesday July 10 2007Books/Authors 

Bikini Atoll
NBC newscaster Amy Jacobson is in the midst of a kerfuffle over her appearance at a party at Craig Stebic's house (Stebic is the husband of Lisa Stebic, who has been missing since April 30.). Jacobson's party attendance — and in particular her beach attire — has whipped up the usual hand-wringing over journalistic ethics by an easily titillated press. Meanwhile, Eric Zorn valiantly rushed to his fellow reporter's defense. UPDATE: Jacobson has resigned.
Tuesday July 10 2007In the News 

This Entry Is Not Kosher
Soooooooeeeeeeee! In quite possibly one of the most disgusting truck spills in recent memory, the northbound Edens was shut down for seven hours after a truck tipped over, spilling out pig ears, pig feet, and grease across the highway. Ironically, the spill happened near the Skokie exit.
Sunday July 1 2007Found on the Web 

Up, Up, and Away
"Dean" and his female associate engaged in some hotel bed jumping at the Chicago Hyatt, as have many other people at hotels worldwide.
Saturday June 30 2007Found on the Web 

One More Radar Lover's Gone
Alderman Ed Burke wants to ban a certain kind of radar detector that tips drivers off about camera-rigged stoplights. Oh, not for safety's sake, but because it warns drivers about the lights, causing them to stop, and avoid the fines... which added up to $19.8 million last year. Put the pedal to the metal for financial solvency, and damn the pedestrians!
Friday June 22 2007Politics/Activism 

If You Stray Past the Invisible Border, Your Electrified Collar Will Activate
Lake Forest has decided to make part of a mile-long stretch of beach a kid-free zone. Persons appearing to be under 21 will be asked for ID by parks and recreation Sandmen, uh, Stalkers, er... staff.
Friday June 22 2007Offbeat/Misc. Events 

Dr. Moore Will See You Now
Filmmaker Michael Moore stopped by yesterday to promote his new film Sicko and stand in solidarity with Chicago nurses demanding universal health care. Counter-protestors were on hand at the film's Washington, DC, premiere, because Moore is a "controversial, polarizing figure" who thinks one of the wealthiest nations on earth shouldn't let its citizens be financially reamed if they're foolish enough to get sick.
Friday June 22 2007Film 

Be Ware
T.S. Eliot allegedly said "Mediocre writers borrow; great writers steal." Applying that to artists, what is Flemish cartoonist Ief Claessen supposed to be? Come to think of it, what's up with that British Petroleum guy? (Scroll down.)
Wednesday June 20 2007Arts/Architecture 

Off the CGI Pigs
Chicago 10 is a new documentary by Brett Morgen about the 1968 Democratic National Convention and the Chicago Seven Conspiracy Trial. In an interesting turn, scenes are either computer animations or archival footage set to a modern soundtrack (get a load of the taking of the Logan statue in Grant Park against the Beastie Boys' "Sabotage"). Who says you can't repackage rebellion?
Tuesday June 19 2007Film 

See a Doctor if Condition Persists for More Than Four Hours
Due to high temperatures this weekend, the Jackson and State Street bridges were unable to close without receiving a cold shower of water from a Chicago River fireboat.
Monday June 18 2007Offbeat/Misc. Events 

Who's the Boss? Definitely Not Tony Danza.
Tastefully tying in with the last episode of The Sopranos, Sun Times reporter Steve Warmbir speculates on the current boss of the Chicago Outfit.
Sunday June 10 2007People/Sightings 

Old Blue Bug Eyes Is Back
There's always room for one more cicada story, isn't there? A lad in Downers Grove found a blue-eyed cicada in his backyard, a one in a million find (among "hundreds of millions of cicadas," per a killjoy researcher).
Sunday June 10 2007Offbeat/Misc. Events 

Jake and Elwood Still at Large
The Methods Reporter site has pointed out an article by Taryn Luntz that reveals the city paid as much as $7 million last year settling lawsuits for police car accidents. Especially mind-boggling: $6 million of that went toward settling two separate accidents in 2001 and 2003.
Wednesday June 6 2007Transportation 

What Precisely Is a Homo-sex?
Ruben Israel is a very vocal fellow, currently demanding the right to march, proclaim anti-gay rhetoric, and carry his apparently bottomless supply of tastefully designed signs in the Annual Pride Parade—something he's done streetside for years. Naturally, in being denied the ability to heap judgment and preach hellfire against folks all along the parade route, he feels he's being discriminated against.
Sunday June 3 2007Religion/Spirituality 

Elfman, Birds Want Terrorists to Win
Liberal bias exposer Newsbusters is outraged, OUTRAGED!, that Sun Times TV critic Doug Elfman made a joke about a bird defecating on the president's face, when in fact it only dribbled on his sleeve. And in case you missed it, you can see the bird's bombing run right here. Posted without bias, of course.
Thursday May 31 2007Politics/Activism 

Fugu FUBAR?
Two people in the Chicago area became ill after eating what was labelled as frozen monkfish, but which authorities suspect may have contained tetrodotoxin. Tetrodotoxin is found in the pufferfish—infamous gilled source of the dangerous Japanese delicacy fugu.
Thursday May 24 2007Eating/Drinking 

Istanbul, Not Chicagstantinople
The Fifth Chicago Turkish Festival is taking place next week, May 30 through June 2, at the Daley Plaza. See whirling dervishes, enjoy Turkish food, shop for Turkish arts and crafts, and more.
Tuesday May 22 2007City Life/Cultural 

Master of Light Meets Light-Fingered Thieves
A 350-year-old Rembrandt etching, valued at 55 grand, was stolen from the Hilligoss Gallery on North Michigan Avenue—presumably by a well-dressed couple with, assumedly, good taste.
Monday May 21 2007Arts/Architecture 

YES, SOUP FOR YOU!
Al Yeganeh, immortalized on Seinfeld as the Soup Nazi, will be opening a cafe in the Windy City. But don't push your luck, little man. Mr. Yeganeh isn't amused by the epithet.
Wednesday May 16 2007Eating/Drinking 

Happy Birthday, Louis Terkel
Today is the 95th birthday of Chicago author, broadcaster, and historian Studs Terkel. WFMT has even arranged it so you can leave the man many happy returns of the day.
Wednesday May 16 2007Books/Authors 

Boiling the Frog
The Virgina Tech shootings, in which 32 students were shot in one morning, caused immeasurable grief and a justifiable uproar. Curiously, less notice is given to the fact that 27 Chicago school students have been beaten, stabbed, shot, or suffocated this year alone.
Wednesday May 16 2007Schools/Education 

You Are Here
South Shore High School students were given stacks of paper and drawing utensils and the single question, "Which Chicago do you live in?" The maps they drew were reviewed to assess the kids' consciousness of their relation to space, perception of where they live beside where power resides (i.e., downtown), and more. The results were quite interesting.
Saturday May 12 2007Schools/Education 

Feeling the Blues
Carey Bell, harp player with Muddy Waters and Willie Dixon, has passed away at age 70. Bell learned from the likes of Little Walter, Sonny Boy Williamson II, and Big Walter Horton, and played on the Delmark and Alligator record labels. Play on, Mr. Bell.
Thursday May 10 2007Music/Clubs 

I Just Need 100 More for My Yorkie Coat
Dognapping is on the upswing, particularly among the small, yappy cur set. Louis Auslander of the International Kennel Club of Chicago, among other dog fanciers, was interviewed in a recent Trib article, with warnings for owners of palm-sized pooches. Beware the man who wears a twitching and excitably yipping trenchcoat.
Wednesday May 9 2007City Life/Cultural 

Soup's On
The latest in Chicago skull news. A 26-year-old man was discovered by police to have four human skulls in his apartment, with one boiling on the stove. In a strange turn, everything seems to be on the up-and-up since his job involves making anatomical models. I'd reconsider any dinner invitations for a while though.
Thursday May 3 2007Offbeat/Misc. Events 

A Date Which Will Live in Infamy
What happens when a group of bushy-haired rockin' dudes from Nottingham, England watch too many gangster flicks and decide to write a song about Al Capone? You get Paper Lace's "The Night Chicago Died," a geographically and historically confused account of gangland Chicago performed by guys who never set foot in the city. When the real Mayor Daley received a copy of the song from the group, he declared the band "Nuts." Yes, indeed!
Wednesday May 2 2007Music/Clubs 

Prez 39 Disses Graffiti Blasters
Chicago blogger Kathy Moseley is fascinated by the mystery of Wicker Park scrawler "Jimmy Carter," whose work is carefully curated at her Flickr account. Has the Georgian ex-president taken to tagging, or is there another explanation? All that's left to say is, Jimmy Carter says, "Yes."
Monday April 30 2007Arts/Architecture 

Boom Boom Boom Boom
Amsterdam-based troupe Boom Chicago is headlining at the 10th Annual Chicago Improv Festival tonight. Friends and fans of Quimby's may be interested to hear that store founder Steven Svymbersky, who left Chicago 10 years ago to work with the troupe, will be with them, and plans to spend all day Saturday at Quimby's. Stop by and say howdy! He'd love to see all his old pals and gals.
Thursday April 26 2007Theatre/Dance 

Uh, Do You Happen to Have an Extinguisher in That Utility Belt, Batman?
Looks like there's a fire taking place at the old Post Office, where the latest installment of the Batman series, The Dark Knight, is being filmed. Note that I didn't say, "Holy ________!" at any point.
Tuesday April 24 2007Film 

Dour Tower
Things are looking grim over at the Trib. One hundred jobs are expected to be cut, and an employee buyout will probably take place today.
Monday April 23 2007Print/Magazines 

Triumphs in Dildonic Architecture
The city's planning board just endorsed a proposal for the Chicago Spire, which will be erected (chuckle) in Streeterville and top off at 2,000 feet. When completed, Chicago will once more have the tallest building in the Western hemisphere. Ha! Take THAT future Freedom Tower and the Taipei 101 building in Taiwan. But wait! Gradually, even the Spire will be dwarfed by up-and-coming stud, the Burj Dubai! Hope this doesn't affect anyone's performance.
Friday April 20 2007Arts/Architecture 

No, Sorry, You Can't Have Royko's Old Office
The Trib just launched Triblocal.com, a site that allows ordinary folks--just like you, good citizen--to contribute stories and photos about the city and 'burbs. Choicer bits will be selected for a weekly print edition. Just remember to read the user agreement before you sign up since "we need to retain the rights to the materials you send us."
Thursday April 19 2007Print/Magazines 

Al Capone! Bang Bang!
The city's charming gangster past is further commemorated in RuneSoft's Chicago 1930 game, which now offers any interested parties (with Macs) a demo that "impresses with very detailed and varying backdrops offering dark courtyards and dubious brothels as well as monumental buildings of large towns."
Thursday April 19 2007Sports/Recreation 

Dame Jane of the Jungle
Respected primatologist Jane Goodall stopped by the ape house at Lincoln Park Zoo this week. Interestingly, Ms. Goodall has groupies in both the ape and the homo sapien sets.
Tuesday April 17 2007People/Sightings 

Cue the Barry White
In preparation for mating season, officials at the Shedd Aquarium rolled out the sexy rocks of sweet penguin love for their Gentoo and Rockhopper penguins. It's a lot like Happy Feet, except the penguins will be knocking flippers instead of dancing.
Thursday April 12 2007Offbeat/Misc. Events 

The Coolest Republican Since Honest Abe
These people want to give the Nobel Peace Prize to George Ryan. Headline quote kudos to local rocker John Greenfield's Illinois First! rock band, who wrote a little song about the former governor.
Tuesday April 10 2007Politics/Activism 

Koran Shenanigans
A local woman is publishing a new English translation of the Koran, which, surprisingly, has caused absolutely no controversy in the Muslim community. And if you believe that... Additional note: It seems the Russians think the Olsen twins are somehow involved.
Tuesday April 10 2007Religion/Spirituality 

It's Easy Being Green
Chicago's Green Festival is rapidly approaching. Stop by McCormick Place April 21 through 22 and see more than 300 exhibits in eco-fashion, natural home and health products, organic dining, and more. All patrons attending the festival who donate 10 non-perishable food items to the Greater Chicago Food Depository will receive a poster by artist, Scott Saw. Ramen noodles will not be accepted--way too much sodium.
Tuesday April 10 2007Resources 

Easter Egg Roll
On Saturday, like some ill-conceived SNL skit come to life, poor Cardinal Francis George took a tumble after slipping in holy water while blessing Easter baskets. He has a minor hip fracture, but he's doing fine.
Sunday April 8 2007Offbeat/Misc. Events 

Remember: You Can't Really Dust for Vomit
Tickets are on sale for clever art collective Lucky Pierre's latest project: Rock & Roll: Impatience. Early reports promise the audience will be be shaken all night long.
Thursday April 5 2007Arts/Architecture 

Bar Raised Higher for Obama
The latest in wacky Jesus statuary news: First his supporters had him battling Big Sister; now he's appearing as the Son 'o God at the Art Institute.
Monday April 2 2007Politics/Activism 

Heads, Maori Win
The Field Museum of Natural History will return the skulls of 14 Maori (which were acquired sometime in the mid-19th Century) to their New Zealand homeland and, specifically, the Te Papa national museum.
Friday March 23 2007Offbeat/Misc. Events 

"Excuse Me? Which Way to Fort Dearborn?"
The Map Room site (no relation to the bar of the same name), currently featured links to U of C Library pages featuring gorgeous old maps of the city that you can "zoomify." Zoomify? I do not think that word means what you think it means.
Wednesday March 21 2007History 

Geese Breach Peace
Beastly geese must cease increase. "Nest police, please decrease, bring surcease to geese eggs," park district pleads. Geese eggs to be beat or greased without caprice. Honk.
Wednesday March 21 2007Outdoors/Environment 

Look Out for That Sand Trap
Custodians at a Mundelein golf course discovered a skull and assorted bones at and around the 14th tee. The varmint responsible has yet to be identified. [Warning: The last two links are noisy.]
Tuesday March 20 2007Sports/Recreation 

Sweet Sour Home Chicago
Over at the Beachwood Reporter, Don Jacobson has been collecting and evaluating songs that namedrop the city that works. Unsurprisingly, few of the tunes are happy-go-lucky toe-tappers. Subjects include blood, drugs, ghettos, guns, and elevator repair.
Friday March 16 2007Music/Clubs 

And That's Elvis in the Bush Behind Him
Salt-stain Marys? Please. That's so 2005. All the cool kids are seeing Jesus Christ in a southwest neighborhood tree now. What? Well, maybe you're not squinting hard enough. Here, try practicing on this grilled cheese sandwich.
Thursday March 15 2007Offbeat/Misc. Events 

A Noteworthy Community
The Chicago Classical Music community covers multitudinous classical music happenings, musicians, composers, and directors in Chicago and elsewhere. No one can accuse them of having too many notes.
Wednesday March 14 2007Music/Clubs 

But Will They Play "Roxanne"?
The Police will not be here to create disorder, the Police will be here to preserve disorder. Better start looking for a parking space now.
Tuesday March 13 2007Music/Clubs 

Yours Truly, Jack the Reporter
The Whitechapel Club is a strange bit of forgotten Chicago lore. A late 19th Century gathering of Chicago journalists who wet their whistles at a local tavern and named themselves after the London slum terrorized by Jack the Ripper, the group eventually held meetings in a room decorated with skulls, nooses, and other grisly artifacts. Guest speakers were invited to address the club, only to be insulted away from the podium, and the subject of death was routinely lampooned. Alas, it lasted only five years, but the Newberry Library holds the club's remaining papers.
Tuesday March 13 2007History 

Urbs in Horto Bloggius Maximus
Despite being a dingy grey urban hellhole here and there, Chicago has a number of blogs run by backyard gardeners trying to bring a patch of green to the city. Mr. Brown Thumb is one. Sweet Home and Garden Chicago is another, as is My Chicago Garden.
Sunday March 11 2007Outdoors/Environment 

Keep Watching the Skies, er, Ground
Blogger Dan Telfer points out that after the snows melt and the temperature rises, we'll have to deal with the chitinous grossness of the 17-year "locusts" (though, actually, they're cicadas, not locusts). Not to worry though. The crunchy little buggers are apparently quite tasty. You first.
Wednesday March 7 2007Offbeat/Misc. Events 

Serial Fingerpicker
John Hasbrouck is a local guitarist who just can't stop joining bands. There's his "jugless" jug band Hardscrabble, local band Cracklin Moth, his mandolin accompaniment to songwriter James Curley, the countrified stylings of the Lawrence Peters Outfit, and others. Hurry up and see the fleet-fingered Hasbrouck before he drops dead of exhaustion.
Tuesday March 6 2007Music/Clubs 

The King of Chicago
Hard though it may be to believe, the remains of the last king of Yugoslavia--and likely the only kingly bones buried on American soil--rest in Chicagoland. King Peter II is currently interred in Libertyville's Serbian Orthodox Monastery of Saint Sava--but not for long if his heirs have their way.
Saturday March 3 2007Offbeat/Misc. Events 

Bulls Turkey Burger?
Did the Bulls open a hamburger restaurant in Turkey? NBA Fanhouse thinks not officially. Naturally, there's a Michael Jordan burger, named in honor of the "basketball wizard" himself.
Wednesday February 28 2007Sports/Recreation 

They'll Need a Crane
If you were walking past State Street this morning and wondered what all the hubbub was about... Apparently, a man climbed a construction crane near the Chicago Theater and said he'd jump. Police say the would-be sidewalk diver has done this before. Update: Happily, he did not become the man who fell to earth.
Wednesday February 28 2007Offbeat/Misc. Events 

Leroy Jenkins, R.I.P.
Innovative, Chicago-born free jazz violinist Leroy Jenkins has just passed away. Mr. Jenkins is not to be confused with bizarre Internet meme figure/WoW figure of scorn Leeeeeeroy Jenkins (explanatory video here).
Tuesday February 27 2007Music/Clubs 

Yell "Stop the Presses!" Too, If You Like
Hey all you would-be Clark Kents and Lois Lanes! Don't forget that the Chicago Reader is looking to post your "offbeat tales" and photos of tomorrow's elections to their blog, Clout City.
Monday February 26 2007Politics/Activism 

Just a Flesh Wound
The city's oldest registered voter just passed away at the age of 109. Not that that will stop her from voting on Tuesday, of course.
Sunday February 25 2007Politics/Activism 

Hands Off the Cast Iron Frieze, Lady
Today is the last day the landmark Carson Pirie Scott store on One South State Street will be open for business. If you want one final memory of purchasing something within the elegant Louis Sullivan designed confines of the store, best pop in today.
Wednesday February 21 2007Arts/Architecture 

You Don't Want to Know the Wind Chill
Chilly? Could be worse. Temperatures are about to drop to within billionths of a degree above absolute zero at U of C's Gordon Center for Integrative Science. Assistant Professor Cheng Chin intends to lower the temperature within a two-foot cylindrical vacuum chamber to -459.67 degrees Fahrenheit in order to study the Big Bang. One hopes Dr. Chin remembers to wear a hat and scarf.
Friday February 16 2007Offbeat/Misc. Events 

You're the Man Now, Barack
It seems the freshman senator from Illinois is a strange source of inspiration for the members of YTMND.com. (SFW, but LOUD)
Wednesday February 14 2007Politics/Activism 

Keep Watching the Skies
Most Chicagoans may not be aware that J. Allen Hynek was a UFOlogist whose Center for UFO Studies remains active in Chicago. Those who find Mr. Hynek's ideas a little out there are advised not to stop by the web site of alleged contactee Billy Meier.
Wednesday February 14 2007Found on the Web 

Chicagoans: Little Debbie Doesn't Have a Snack for You
Little Debbie Nutty Bars: Now with metal shavings "enrobed in fudge"! Mmmm-boy!
Friday February 9 2007Eating/Drinking 

The Happy Homemaker
Matthew McClintock welcomes you to his Oak Park home, which he has kindly photographed and uploaded to the Web--from the contents of his refrigerator to his underwear drawer.
Thursday February 8 2007Found on the Web 

The Beastmaster
Clarence "Bernie" Hoffmann, founder of World Famous Animal Kingdom Pet Shop on Milwaukee Ave and donor of the highly belligerent Chelveston the duck on the Ray Rayner Show, has passed away at the age of 92.
Tuesday February 6 2007City Life/Cultural 

Murder Castle Finds a Production Home?
After being dropped by Tom Cruise and Paula Wagner's production company, Paramount has picked up the film rights to Eric Larson's The Devil in the White City. One hopes that Cruise will still consider playing the part of Victorian serial murderer H.H. Holmes, as the thought of the toothy Scientologist in a handlebar mustache is irresistible.
Tuesday February 6 2007Film 

Beau Brummel Banditry
Police are on the lookout for a man who has rooked a number of suburban Chicago and Wisconsin spas out of thousands of dollars worth of manicures, pedicures, facials, hair cuts, and sea salt body polishings. If you happen to see any six-foot, 300-pound fops with small pores and impeccable nails, please alert the police.
Friday February 2 2007In the News 

Kiss Me, Caped Crusader
The current rumor about the next Batman movie, The Dark Knight, is that it's filming in Chicago for 80 days this summer under the secret identity/code name Rory's First Kiss. That's Rory, not Robin, by the way.
Wednesday January 31 2007Film 

The Helmet Crack'd
An oversized fiberglass Bears helmet cracked while being placed on one of the Art Institute Lions. Perhaps the lions--who have designations rather than proper names--are secret and disgruntled fans of a certain Michigan team.
Tuesday January 30 2007Sports/Recreation 

Schmattze Speaks
In 1943, as male National Baseball League players went off to war, Cubs owner Philip K. Wrigley formed the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League Players Association to keep the ballparks in business. Former Chicago native and Springfield Sallies pitcher Esther "Schmattze" Morrison shares a few memories of when baseball diamonds were a girl's best friend.
Tuesday January 30 2007Sports/Recreation 

You Will Be Assimilknitted
Subway Knitter knits one and purls two in Boston, but one of her projects, the Amazing Charlie Card Mitten might suit frigid users of the CTA's Chicago Card. Keep your hands toasty warm while taking the first steps toward your inevitable Borg conversion. Resistance is futile.
Monday January 29 2007Transportation 

Gray Matter
Hanna Holborn Gray was U of C's president from 1978 to 1993, serving as the first female president of a major university. As admirable as the professor's life has been, Gray's official presidential portrait has a more colorful history, having been repeatedly critiqued, stolen, and, in one case, inscribed with Apocalyptic verse.
Thursday January 25 2007Arts/Architecture 

The Deadliest Blog Alive
Floyd Webb was interviewed in the Reader last summer about his current project: a documentary on Chicago martial artist John Keehan (aka Count Dante: The Deadliest Man Alive). With half a year's research, a bizarre tale of kung-fu, pet lions, comic book ads, death matches, and Mafia hitmen got weirder. Mr. Webb dutifully reports on his descent into 70s martial arts madness at his blog.
Wednesday January 24 2007Weblogs 

Define "Once in a Lifetime Experience"
Not wanting to cheat her husband Mark of the joy of seeing the Bears trounce the Saints at Soldier's Field, Colleen Pavelka of Homer Glen induced labor on Friday rather than risk giving birth during the big game. "I thought, how could (Mark) miss this one opportunity that he might never have again in his life?" said Pavelka, 28, who is now undoubtedly prayed to as a fertility goddess by legions of male Bears fans.
Wednesday January 24 2007Sports/Recreation